Wassabi Ass Project | Hot Sh or Knarly Sh

I nominate FERGIE for Worst Lyrics in the World!

2007-09-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

OK people, check out the chorus of "Girls don't cry" and see if you can spot the shittiest dumbest most mind numbing lyrics of modern time:

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

OK.. I made it easy for you with the whole BOLD ITALIC thing.. but Christ, you would have found it anyway wouldn't you.

"And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket"? That's the best they could come up with? Are you fucking kidding me?

I wonder what they passed on before coming up with this anectodal piece of shite.. perhaps:

- "And I'm gonna miss you like a man who looses his arms misses masturbation"
- "And I'm gonna miss you like an ex-whore misses giving hand jobs for crack"
- "And I'm gonna miss you like Britney is gonna miss her children

Get the drift?

The Big Con - America Has Been Hijacked by Right-Wing Extremists

2007-09-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

At last the explanation I have been looking for to help with my confusion.

As a non-American, when I came to this country, based on simple historical definitions of the two parties, I labeled myself a "Republican". When I saw what Repubublicans actually DID I ran fleeing to the other side - because there is nowhere else to go.

This article ( and therefore this book ) are for anyone under the age of 40 who is educated, smart, knows something isn't right, and wants to know the details.

The Big Con - America Has Been Hijacked by Right-Wing Extremists

I come away understanding why my gut tells me that Ron Paul is not the NUT that the GOP present him as.. he's the last vestige of hope based on where they have come from, when they actually were a party that could be an asset to the country. Sometimes it IS good to roll back the clock, to do things the old fashioned way, and Ron Paul is the man for the job.

That's why, even though I can't vote, he's getting my verbal support, and my financial support.. because this isn't a game - but we can still loose.

Knarly: I HATE VISTA ALREADY

2007-09-11T20:59:00.001-07:00

Unbelievable. I'm not even going to USE Vista on the machine that I've just bought apart from perhaps in an VirtualBox in Linux.. but holy crap, HP don't even give you a disk anymore! To get the disk without paying, I have to install Vista, and then go through the Create recovery Disks phase. Well it's been 45 FUCKING minutes already since I started creating the disks and it's only 72% done creating the image.. I mean WHAT THE FUCK. I could have installed Ubuntu already.

I was wondering about Vista... and now I know. I fucking hate it.

Mortgage Crisis - You know you're an idiot when..

2007-08-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

.. you refinance your house with 100% focus on how much you are going to save NEXT MONTH on payments with total disregard for:

how much the total loan amount has become.. you've paid THOUSANDS to close this loan
what might happen at the end of the "fixed rate" length ( if you even read the loan agreement well enough to realize there is one )
the fact that since Bush came to power, our economy has gone to shit - so there's a good chance that things simply "are not going to be all right next year"

If you are one of these people now walking around with head in hands saying "MY PAYMENT JUST DOUBLED" well then take a look into the eyes of who is to blame.. Any mirror will work just fine.

No.. It's NOT the fault of the loan officer. It's not the fault of the government. It's the fault of the person who committed to a 30 year agreement without understanding it.

End of story.

If it makes you feel any better, it's not just you though.. even the LENDERS are getting burned - and todays announcement by the FED that they should also look in the mirror is great.

They basically said, "You are supposed to be the experts. You made financial investments.. and they were bad ones. Why are you looking to the Federeral Reserve to fix that for you?"

Bush though - of course, the man of the people, also made an announcement today to help idiots find a way out. I guess he's thinking, "Well if I don't have to take responsibility for my idiotic actions over the last 7 years, why should anyone else?" He's pushing for the FHA to help insure the uninsurable - so maybe there is hope for you. Maybe you WON'T have to learn that there are repercussions if you make dumb decisions this time around.

SCANDAL: PERSCRIPTION Drugs killing our kids.

2007-08-28T08:57:00.000-07:00

To many people, like me, the idea of giving things like Ritalin to a kid is completely retarded, but this great documentary has made me SO angry. It shows how schools, teachers and doctors are failing us at the behest of drug companies.

A MUST WATCH.

Knarly Marketing: Enzyte

2007-08-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

Watch this commercial about the "natural male enhancement drug" Enzyte then read the comments below.

OK. What's wrong with this picture? Well at first glance, it's just pushing the envelope a little, right? I mean, it's just trying to communicate the fact that the guy has a nice sized penis, right?

WRONG! Enzyte only affects the size of an ERECT penis. So this slightly playful ad suddenly takes on a whole new meaning - the guy is standing at the family barbeque naked.. with a BONER!

Note to self. Don't take my kid to a barbeque with the Enzyte marketing team.

MARKETING FOR IDIOTS: Geico

2007-08-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big Geico fan to begin with, so happy to rip them a new one on my blog for their marketing to idiots. If you've heard their commercials and not flinched, then you might very well be one.

"A 15 minute phone call could save you up to 15% or more on your car insurance!"

What does that mean? Let's break it down.

"COULD" = It might or it might not
"UP TO 15%" = ZERO to 15%
"OR MORE" = > between 15% and Infinity%

So.. let's add it all together. What GEICO want to make very clear is:

"A 15 minute phone call may or may not save you anything between nothing and an infinite amount on your car insurance."

Well shit, going by the Geico marketing handbook this is a perfectly truthful statement:

"Sticking a carton of orange juice up your ass sideways could save you up to 15% or more on your car insurance"

Oh.. FYI people. When you choose insurance choose based on what happens when you NEED it, not how much the premium is. Geico suck.

BREAKING NEWS: Everywhere but on Fox

2007-07-02T17:43:00.000-07:00

I'm fucking livid.

The airwaves and the internet are buzzing with the news that Bush has commuted Scooter Libbys sentence.. so while channel surfing I tuned in to Fox News to see their slanted perspective.

They don't have a slanted perspective.. they don't have ANY fucking pespective. Not only was the story not covered in the News update, it's not included in the Ticker for any of the current programming!!!

I mean WTF!

If you're reading this, and you're a Fox news regular.. Shame on you. Turn the dial and get educated you fuckin idiots.

KNARLY: Earthlink support is worse than Earthlink Spamblocker.

2007-06-28T10:54:00.001-07:00

I was stupid enough to wonder if Earthlink Spamblocker had any sensible logic built in to it.. like duh.. what was I thinking. As I was reading the blurb on their site about spamblocker, a "How can we frustrate you" type window scrolled onto my screen, and offered me live support. Well why not.. that should answer my question quickly.

35 minutes later..

Chat InformationWelcome to Earthlink LiveChat. Your chat session will begin shortly.

Not at home and you want to read your email? With EarthLink Web Mail you can check your email from any computer with an internet connection!

Chat Information'

Ancic Q' says: Thank you for contacting EarthLink LiveChat, how may I help you today?

me: I'm building a helpdesk application and want to understand your spamblocker better so that my product works well for your customers

Ancic Q: Sure, I will assist you.

me: If one of your customers sends an email to someone@somedomain.com, then is someone@somedomain.com automatically unblocked?

Ancic Q: Please visit to the given below link to know more about EarthLink Spam Blocker.

Ancic Q: http://www.earthlink.net/software/free/spamblocker/

Ancic Q: Is there anything else I may assist you with today?

me: Yeah.. you can answer the question.

me: .. it's specific, and isn't answered on that page - I already looked

me: ( jeez )

me: .. to ask you the quesiton is a different way, if you send an email to someone@somedomain.com is it automatically added to the personal address book

Ancic Q: If someone@somedomain.com is sending an email to EarthLink user and the sender email address is not listed in EarthLink users Address Book it will be caught a suspect email it wont get into EarthLink users Inbox.

me: That's great.. now perhaps you can answer my question rather than answer a different one..

me: .. if YOUR CUSTOMER sends an email to SOMEONE@SOMEDOMAIN.COM is SOMEONE@SOMEDOMAIN.COM automatically whitelisted in some way, or alternatively is your software completely retarded?

me: .. in other words, if your customer sends an email to SOMEONE@SOMEDOMAIN.COM is your software inteligent enough to realize that probably your customer is probably expecting a reply - so why put them through the misery of your torturous spam blocking system..

me: .. and no hurry. I've got all day. The only other thing I really should get done before lunch is paste this conversation to my blog.

Ancic Q: Earthlink use can send an email to any email address.

me: Holy crap. You don't get it do you. I've asked the question three different ways, and you either don't understand it or you don't want to answer it.. let me try again.

me: So.. your customer Jack sends an email to Jill. When Jill replies, does she get a spamblock response, or does the email go straight to Jack? As Jack has just emailed Jill, it would make sense if Jills email address was automatically considered OK

Ancic Q: If jack send an email to Jill the email will lands in Jill's Inbox, if Jill reply to Jack and her email address is not listed in Jack address book Jill's email will be caught by Suspect email folder.

Ancic Q: Jill will be getting an automated response that her email is caught by Suspect email folder.

me: OK.. that's clear. Now the BIG question is, if Jack sends an email to Jill, then wtf does Earthlink not add Jills email to Jacks list of accepted email addresses?

Ancic Q: Yes, Jill will be able to receive Jacks email.

me: Christ. There should be one of those KAPTCHA things with the screwy letters that you have to type on this support system, so that I know that YOU are a real person!

me: I know JILL will be able to receive JACKS emails.. I'm asking why JACK can't automatically receive Jills.. considering he just sent her an email so obviously knows who she is.

Ancic Q: That's the feature of SpamBlocker, unless and until Jills email address is not listed in Jack address book jack can't receive her email.

Ancic Q: spamBlocker works by eliminating most spam before it ever reaches your email inbox. As soon as new spam is detected, software rules are written to block it from reaching your account. These messages are then sent to the Known spam folder (a holding place for caught spam). From the Known spam folder, you can review and determine whether you want to move the message to your inbox, send it to EarthLink for review, or delete the message. Best of all, because this is an online folder, you don't have to wait for junk email to download before you can read your real messages.

me: Do you realize that you just told me that "unless Jills email address is NOT listed in Jacks address book jack CAN'T receive her emails.." Hang on.. my brain has just melted.. that's a tripple negative..

me: Do you not think it would benefit all of mankind if it's assumed that if Jack emails someone, then if they reply, that reply is not likely to be suspect?

Ancic Q: I am sorry for the typo error.

Ancic Q: unless Jills email address is not listed in Jack address book jack ceive her emails

me: I mean.. if I emailed you right now, and you replied and got a spamblock would you not think "Not only is this guy a rude asshole, he is also a fucking idiot.. I just emailed him.. why is he treating my reply as potential spam"?

Ancic Q: Please ignore the above statement.

me: Don't worry.. I've ignored most of them..

Ancic Q: I would suggest to contact him to add your email address in his Address Book.

me: Really? Do you use earthlink email? Do you always add people to your adress book, or do you just let them suffer spamblocker, even though it is you trying to get an answer from them?

Ancic Q: If EarthLink user add your email address in his address book he can receive email without any objection.

me: You know what.. I'll go now.. I'll let you off the hook. It's just too painful for me.. As someone who develops online applications, it's very painful to witness just what shitty specifications big companies like earthlink build to.. They have an opportunity to build things touched by millions, but don't bother going the extra mile to actually make them not shit. Sad. Have a good day ( or probably night where you are ). Bye.

I understand that Earthlinks users are typically the bottom feeders of the Internet Pond, but that doesn't mean that they should hire support staff of the same caliber.

Hot: iPhone friendly shopping list site: Listingly.com

2007-04-19T09:46:00.000-07:00

OK.. this is cool.. hot.. whatever.

There are LOTS of list sites out there, and I wasn't sure if I needed another one, but this has four things that work together to make this my favorite.

1) Smartlists
You can use it for any kind of lists, but it has some built in inteligence about groceries. If you create a "Grocery List" then it will autosuggest items as you type. You type "app" and before you get any further it will prompt with things like "Apple, Produce", "Apple Juice, Drinks", Apple Sauce, Condiments" etc. The nice thing is that if you select it, then it's grouped by grocery department.

2) It's cell phone / mobile device friendly.
Any of the lists can be pulled up a web enabled cell phone, and items can be ticked off the list.
That is sooooper nice. Walking around the store, everything grouped by department and just tick the stuff off the list! The cell phone URL provides a simple interface. You can add things to a list, and tick things off the list, but listingly expects most of the list management to happen at the desktop.

3) It remembers old items
For any list you want, it can remember old items. This is really great for shopping lists. I never remember what I need.. so before I go shopping, I click "view history" and there are all the thigns that I've ordered in the past, I'm like "Oh crap.. yeah, we're running out out TP" so I click to add it back to the list.

4) Lists are sharable.
Nice.. I have a shared grocery list for the house. When I sign into listingly it tells me if any of my lists have been updated by someone else, what they added etc. Very nice. Very useful.

So this is a HOT tool that is great for any list that you want to always be in your pocket. Exceptionally useful for groceries thanks to the smart list.

Knarly: MPG is not a relevant measure of environmental correctness

2007-03-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

New Rule: If you want to talk about your commitment to the environment, and your contribution to the reduction in foreign oil dependence, then tell me how many GALLONS PER WEEK (GPW) you use, not how many MILES PER GALLON your car gets.

GPW is easy to calculate , and anyone who uses more than 8* GPW, regardless of what car they drive, can stop considering themselves to be green.

I'm tired of hearing people tell me they bought a hybrid and have halved their gas consumption. Well how does that shape up to my V8 jeep? It does an average of 2 Gallons / Week!

"Ah ha", you say, "if you had a more efficient vehicle that could be 1 gallon / week", to which I reply, "Get a bike."

See, here's something weird.

Educated people all over the world have woken up to the fact that eating McDonalds is bad for you - so they eat something healthy instead. These same educated people, realizing that using gas is bad for the environment.. well they are still going to EnviroDonalds, they just don't supersize anymore.

The whole hybrid focus is too blinkered. The focus is too narrow, and in fact the same can be said for MOST environmental issues.

I'm big into the environment but I believe in being smart about it. I watch stunned, as people pat themselves on the back for recycling tray loads of 12oz plastic soda and water bottles. Hello! Anybody home?

Just because you put it in the green bin does not make the unnecessary use of plastic any less idiotic. Did you know that Aluminum cans are just about the only thing that your local recycle plant is really happy to see in your bin from both an environmental and monetary perspecitve? If you must buy something, buy cans. Get a 5 gallon water fountain for your home.

Recycling does not negate the damage of consumption and a gallon of gas burned in a hybrid is no less harmful to the environment.

GPW is so easy to calculate that it's imperfections are forgivable. (It does correctly address the oil dependency issue, but emissions are also affected by engine efficiency). If you drive a hybrid and use over 8* GPW then maybe it's time to get out of denial mode. We're not even talking about the potential environmental impact of battery replacement etc. Just some lifestyle changes that show your true colors:

Get the bus
Work from home
Get a job closer to home
Move closer to work
School kids locally
Shop locally
Do without
Ride a bike
Car pool
Walk

Do something that really makes a difference - not something that a very well paid advertising agency has told you will make a difference.

*I pulled the benchmark number of 8 GPW out of my left ear hole but it feels about right.. maybe even on the high side. With sensible choices, and a commitment to change, I don't see why an average family can't change their lifestyle to limit their consumption to between 5 and 8 gallons.. and no, across all vehicles my family uses more - but I'm not pimping a Prius.

Knarly: Vista retains idiotic naming conventions

2007-01-17T11:20:00.000-08:00

So, the Vista team have picked up some idiotic standards that somehow managed to get into earlier versions of windows.

Does the picture give you a clue? Think about powerusers for a sec. Powerusers, and there are many of us out there, want to do things with as few mouse movements and keystrokes as possible..

.. so why the F**K do Microsoft insist on naming ALL of their standard folders "My..."

Starting to get what I mean? You've had your windows system for ever.. you want to get to your pictures.. so get to your "My Documents" ( there they go again ) folder quick as possible. You've had this PC for a while, so it's chock full of folders so how do you get to your Pics Quick? Sorry - you are shit out of luck..

If someone had bothered to think things through and put your pictures in a folder called "Pictures", you'd just click anywhere in the window ( or tab to the folders ) and type "p" and be you'd either be there, or pretty close..

Sorry for the rant, but there are lots of smart people out there who think about the details of a user interface, and that makes the difference. It would be great if Microsoft would hire one.

Hot: VirtualBox brings opensource virtualization to life

2007-01-16T11:06:00.000-08:00

Wonders never cease. Today I ( painlessly ) installed Virtualbox from http://www.virtualbox.org just for shits and giggles, to see how it could handle installing Windows XP on my Linux desktop.

It handles it well.

In the last 24 hours this piece of software has been thrown into the OpenSource community so it's likely to get even better.

A month ago ( in my pre-linux days ) I would have met the news of this application with even more excitement as it would have significantly eased my concerns about letting go of XP.. but ironically today I'm sitting looking at this very cool thing - XP on my linux destop - and thinking.. What do I need this piece of shit for?

For those thinking of trying it, you'll like it. A very handy-dandy feature is that you can close the window, and you get the option to either "Shutdown Windows" or just save the current state.. Wicked nice.. only 5 to 10 seconds to get back into Windows next time around.. Try that Microsoft!

Hot: IE runs better on Linux than Windows LOL

2006-12-29T23:20:00.000-08:00

So.. I know that there are so far only 3 posts here, and they are all about Linux / Windows, but that is what the shit that is going on in my life right now ;-)

I use quickbooks online, and it NEEDS to have IE and all those crappy Active X controls..

Along comes ie4linux. It took 2 minutes to install IE6 on Ubuntu Linux, then another 3 minutes to work out that I had to put securty to LOW to get IE to allow the active-x install for Quickbooks..

And like - "holy shit".. I'm done. I now have IE6 running on my linux laptop, and it runs faster than it did when I had XP installed!

Knarly: Why is Microsoft Media Player so crap?

2006-12-29T12:32:00.000-08:00

I'm in the US. My parents send me some TV shows from Europe which they burned from their Tivo clone.

My question is, how come the free linux player ( gxine ) will play this no problems, and my wifes Mac will play it no problem, but Microsoft Media player on XP won't?

I mean, can't Microsoft with their thousands of well paid developers achieve what a handful a people manage to do in their spare time for Linux?

Now I TRULY welcome someone to come along and say, "Yeah.. but if you do a bit of research, and install the right codecs it will work fine on Windows" and that would be BLISS.. Imagine, a discussion about Linux vs Windows, where it's the WINDOWS system that you can get to work if you know how to get under the hood!

Wassabi Ass Project | Hot Sh** or Knarly Sh**

I nominate FERGIE for Worst Lyrics in the World!

The Big Con - America Has Been Hijacked by Right-Wing Extremists

The Big Con - America Has Been Hijacked by Right-Wing Extremists

Knarly: I HATE VISTA ALREADY

Mortgage Crisis - You know you're an idiot when..

SCANDAL: PERSCRIPTION Drugs killing our kids.

Knarly Marketing: Enzyte

MARKETING FOR IDIOTS: Geico

BREAKING NEWS: Everywhere but on Fox

KNARLY: Earthlink support is worse than Earthlink Spamblocker.

Hot: iPhone friendly shopping list site: Listingly.com

Knarly: MPG is not a relevant measure of environmental correctness

Knarly: Vista retains idiotic naming conventions

Hot: VirtualBox brings opensource virtualization to life

Hot: IE runs better on Linux than Windows LOL

Knarly: Why is Microsoft Media Player so crap?

Wassabi Ass Project | Hot Sh or Knarly Sh