Wassabi Ass Project | Hot Sh** or Knarly Sh**

Wassabi Ass Project is a collection of things, concepts, and ideas. What is hot ( in a good way ) and what is just a knarly big pile of crap.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

I nominate FERGIE for Worst Lyrics in the World!

OK people, check out the chorus of "Girls don't cry" and see if you can spot the shittiest dumbest most mind numbing lyrics of modern time:

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

OK.. I made it easy for you with the whole BOLD ITALIC thing.. but Christ, you would have found it anyway wouldn't you.

"And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket"? That's the best they could come up with? Are you fucking kidding me?

I wonder what they passed on before coming up with this anectodal piece of shite.. perhaps:

- "And I'm gonna miss you like a man who looses his arms misses masturbation"
- "And I'm gonna miss you like an ex-whore misses giving hand jobs for crack"
- "And I'm gonna miss you like Britney is gonna miss her children

Get the drift?

The Big Con - America Has Been Hijacked by Right-Wing Extremists

At last the explanation I have been looking for to help with my confusion.

As a non-American, when I came to this country, based on simple historical definitions of the two parties, I labeled myself a "Republican". When I saw what Repubublicans actually DID I ran fleeing to the other side - because there is nowhere else to go.

This article ( and therefore this book ) are for anyone under the age of 40 who is educated, smart, knows something isn't right, and wants to know the details.

The Big Con - America Has Been Hijacked by Right-Wing Extremists

I come away understanding why my gut tells me that Ron Paul is not the NUT that the GOP present him as.. he's the last vestige of hope based on where they have come from, when they actually were a party that could be an asset to the country. Sometimes it IS good to roll back the clock, to do things the old fashioned way, and Ron Paul is the man for the job.

That's why, even though I can't vote, he's getting my verbal support, and my financial support.. because this isn't a game - but we can still loose.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


Unbelievable. I'm not even going to USE Vista on the machine that I've just bought apart from perhaps in an VirtualBox in Linux.. but holy crap, HP don't even give you a disk anymore! To get the disk without paying, I have to install Vista, and then go through the Create recovery Disks phase. Well it's been 45 FUCKING minutes already since I started creating the disks and it's only 72% done creating the image.. I mean WHAT THE FUCK. I could have installed Ubuntu already.

I was wondering about Vista... and now I know. I fucking hate it.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Mortgage Crisis - You know you're an idiot when..

.. you refinance your house with 100% focus on how much you are going to save NEXT MONTH on payments with total disregard for:
  1. how much the total loan amount has become.. you've paid THOUSANDS to close this loan
  2. what might happen at the end of the "fixed rate" length ( if you even read the loan agreement well enough to realize there is one )
  3. the fact that since Bush came to power, our economy has gone to shit - so there's a good chance that things simply "are not going to be all right next year"
If you are one of these people now walking around with head in hands saying "MY PAYMENT JUST DOUBLED" well then take a look into the eyes of who is to blame.. Any mirror will work just fine.

No.. It's NOT the fault of the loan officer. It's not the fault of the government. It's the fault of the person who committed to a 30 year agreement without understanding it.

End of story.

If it makes you feel any better, it's not just you though.. even the LENDERS are getting burned - and todays announcement by the FED that they should also look in the mirror is great.

They basically said, "You are supposed to be the experts. You made financial investments.. and they were bad ones. Why are you looking to the Federeral Reserve to fix that for you?"

Bush though - of course, the man of the people, also made an announcement today to help idiots find a way out. I guess he's thinking, "Well if I don't have to take responsibility for my idiotic actions over the last 7 years, why should anyone else?" He's pushing for the FHA to help insure the uninsurable - so maybe there is hope for you. Maybe you WON'T have to learn that there are repercussions if you make dumb decisions this time around.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

SCANDAL: PERSCRIPTION Drugs killing our kids.

To many people, like me, the idea of giving things like Ritalin to a kid is completely retarded, but this great documentary has made me SO angry. It shows how schools, teachers and doctors are failing us at the behest of drug companies.


Thursday, August 23, 2007

Knarly Marketing: Enzyte

Watch this commercial about the "natural male enhancement drug" Enzyte then read the comments below.

OK. What's wrong with this picture? Well at first glance, it's just pushing the envelope a little, right? I mean, it's just trying to communicate the fact that the guy has a nice sized penis, right?

WRONG! Enzyte only affects the size of an ERECT penis. So this slightly playful ad suddenly takes on a whole new meaning - the guy is standing at the family barbeque naked.. with a BONER!

Note to self. Don't take my kid to a barbeque with the Enzyte marketing team.

Thursday, August 16, 2007


I'm not a big Geico fan to begin with, so happy to rip them a new one on my blog for their marketing to idiots. If you've heard their commercials and not flinched, then you might very well be one.

"A 15 minute phone call could save you up to 15% or more on your car insurance!"

What does that mean? Let's break it down.

"COULD" = It might or it might not
"UP TO 15%" = ZERO to 15%
"OR MORE" = > between 15% and Infinity%

So.. let's add it all together. What GEICO want to make very clear is:

"A 15 minute phone call may or may not save you anything between nothing and an infinite amount on your car insurance."

Well shit, going by the Geico marketing handbook this is a perfectly truthful statement:

"Sticking a carton of orange juice up your ass sideways could save you up to 15% or more on your car insurance"

Oh.. FYI people. When you choose insurance choose based on what happens when you NEED it, not how much the premium is. Geico suck.

Monday, July 02, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: Everywhere but on Fox

I'm fucking livid.

The airwaves and the internet are buzzing with the news that Bush has commuted Scooter Libbys sentence.. so while channel surfing I tuned in to Fox News to see their slanted perspective.

They don't have a slanted perspective.. they don't have ANY fucking pespective. Not only was the story not covered in the News update, it's not included in the Ticker for any of the current programming!!!

I mean WTF!

If you're reading this, and you're a Fox news regular.. Shame on you. Turn the dial and get educated you fuckin idiots.